Full Gospel Church / Wayne Parks Ministries

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Question:

Is divorce something God would want?

There are many issues regarding divorce that cannot be addressed in a short discussion such as this. However, regarding the limited topic of God wanting divorce can be easily answered. The above question was received in an email by a woman who has admitted that both she and her husband had hurt each other, and he left. She wanted him to return and had been trying for a year. Here was the answer to her email:

Here is Jesus’ teaching from Matthew 19:3-11 MKJV:

And the Pharisees came to Him, tempting Him and saying to Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

And He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning "made them male and female", and said, For this cause a man shall leave father and mother and shall cling to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh? Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.

They said to Him, Why did Moses then command to give a bill of divorce and to put her away?

He said to them, Because of your hard-heartedness Moses allowed you to put away your wives; but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.

His disciples said to Him, If this is the case of the man with his wife, it is not good to marry. But He said to them, Not all receive this word, except those to whom it is given.

God loves family and hates divorce. In fact, the apostle John wrote that God is love. If you take a look at your relationship, you will probably find that both of you have failed at times to truly be people of love. “Getting even” only drives a wedge between two people and creates hate and bitterness. Often people use the phrase “love-hate” for a relationship that brings out both of those emotions. But the truth is that our selfish flesh gets in the way of being good to our mate.

First, I suggest that you examine your heart, humbly open up to God, and admit to Him every time you have sinned against God and your husband. Then, after your heart has been refreshed through His love and forgiveness, pray for your husband. Proverbs states, “Love covers all sin” (Prov. 10:12). And again, “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends” (Prov. 17:9). Godly love has a tremendous healing affect in our hearts and in relationships.

If it is possible—sometimes it isn’t—contact your husband, calmly and quietly talk with him, and just tell you that you are sorry for your part in the marriage problems. No matter how he responds—and it may not be nice at first—you will have planted a seed of goodness. If it is appropriate, continue planting kind words without attempting to force him to do anything. Meanwhile, pray for God to use those seeds to melt his anger and bitterness. I cannot stress enough that Godly love is very powerful against hatred and evil. Harmless love has a real healing effect; though sometimes it takes time.

Remember, with God there is always hope.

In Jesus’ Name, I pray for God to melt the pride and other problems in both of your hearts, and that both of you will come to repentance to God and each other, and be healed in your relationship. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Rev. Pat Reynolds
Wayne Parks Ministries

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